Decide the type of person you want to be – prove it with small wins

— James Clear.

I could just leave that there and let you interpret it how you want…but you may know by now that just isn’t my style! Have another read and ponder… I made a decision earlier this year after having a mild meltdown at the end of January. My back was threatening to ‘go’ I felt unwell and so I stopped doing any formal exercise for a few weeks, apart from walking. My mood plummeted and so I defaulted to food for comfort, which is ironic as there was nothing comforting about the amount of chocolate, crisps and toast I chose to eat. I gained over a stone in 6 weeks and I was already carrying a bit extra. I felt shit. My mum fell again, and with all the extra stress that can bring I simply made a decision. To regain my fitness, and more importantly strength of mind. I DECIDED that I wanted to feel well, not just well…but amazing! I knew I was going to have to cope with extra this year, with my mum, my book and the normal stuff and stresses of work and I just couldn’t imagine doing it while feeling like a big slug in a constant bad mood! That was my motivation so I honestly made the decision to CHOOSE to work towards a fitter, leaner, happier person. And so I started to PROVE it to myself with small wins. I gradually started to remove the unhelpful processed stuff from my diet. For a while I removed sugar, all processed food and alcohol….and yes, even ice cream! Before I did this, I journaled on it, which helped enormously. At the end of every day, I would spend just 5 minutes asking myself why I was choosing to over eat food that obviously wasn’t doing me any favours. I did this without any judgement as it wasn’t all totally my fault. Just have a think how much and for how long we have been advertised to by the food industry…working their marketing messages into our subconscious minds…never mind our conscious minds! Driving past a bus stop and you see the latest easter eggs, watching TV and adverts and you see the seductive suggestions for Lindor Balls, and fast food adverts which portray the happiest of families…it’s all a nonsense, but that stuff works! So please do give yourself a break if you find yourself constantly reaching for the chocolate and crisps to sooth yourself. I continued to journal (writing for 5 minutes every day) while I removed these things from my diet one by one. I started with sugar, then all processed food, then alcohol…all a few weeks apart. I think this made a huge difference, rather than doing it all at once. I looked for more small wins and started giving more proper effort to my fitness, rather than half arsing it. I regularly lifted dumbbells, or used bodyweight exercises. No gym visits necessary as I did it all at home. I walked with more purpose, because I genuinely wanted to and not because I felt I had to. I continued to prove to myself that I wanted to be a person that felt she was thriving by bagging more small wins. I stopped taking my phone to bed. I prioritised sleep, especially making a lot more effort to go to bed earlier so I changed my evening routine. I focused on increasing my protein at every meal and built up to 100g most days. I read 10 pages of a self development book every day. I did a Belief Coding self facilitation every day. I even created a ritual of moisturising my hands and feet before bed along with using my LED face mask. All these things told my subconscious mind that I was looking after myself. I wanted to continually prove to myself that I was worth it. I created my ‘Shit to Shiny’ 100 Day wall chart. This was so helpful in keeping me accountable. I am on my second round this year! I started to feel so much better, and quickly! I got fitter, leaner and yes, I lost weight too…but as always, that is just the bonus! As it was never going to be an option for me to give up ice cream for life…I knew I would start introducing some of the things I had removed from my diet. I wanted to do this without a feeling of deprivation. Before I did this, I remember having a conversation with Simon while we were out walking the dogs one morning…and we decided to make 3 groups of food and drink: things I eat freely; things I eat in moderation; things I just don’t eat anymore. This has made the biggest difference…and I have stuck to it…although even using the word ‘stuck’ implies it has been an effort…it hasn’t! So it’s probably easier for me to tell you roughly what is in the ‘no more’ group!

• Crisps of any description…even Tyrrels!
• Shop bought bread…even sourdough….I occasionally buy sourdough from a bakery.
• Shop bought ice cream, so no Magnums or tubs of Ben and Jerrys.
• What I call the crap chocolate…like Dairy Milk and all those sorts of brands. I will still enjoy Lindor and Hotel Chocolate but even removing the brands that I just used to eat all week (3 for 2 on the easter Cadbury’s bunnies or Cream eggs anyone!) has MASSIVELY cut down my consumption of chocolate! (Yes, I know that all other chocolate, even the ‘posh’ stuff still contains the sugar…but that is not my point!)
• Sweets
• Fizzy drinks

I honestly have NOT missed any of the above and so it is no effort, therefore no deprivation…I know that might be hard to believe, and you may find it impossible to live without that lot (or whatever your ‘things’ are) …but I am here to tell you it IS absolutely possible to not WANT those things anymore! My ‘moderation’ list (without any guilt whatsoever!) includes:

• Freshly made ice cream/gelato
• A nice cake from a Garden Centre or homemade
• Takeaways
• Chocolate Orange Cobble from a bakery in Kendal and Tebay services!
• Wine and any other alcohol
• Sourdough from a bakery
• Meals out which usually involves a nice pie!
• The odd sandwich form Pret and the occasional “Meal Deal form M&S…got to love a Gastro Pub Lasagne!!

And then I have anything else I fancy…but what has changed is what I fancy no longer is any of those foods that I was always craving on the ‘no more’ list! And please know that YOUR list of foods on these groups may well look very different to mine…no right or wrong! No diet, feeling so much healthier, not masking with crisps and chocolate, putting the effort in to eat in a way that makes me feel good…enjoying ice cream, cake and wine, when I choose to…occasionally too many days in a row but usually not. NO guilt. Exercising regularly. Accepting that I sometimes have a shit week and that is ok. Being CONSISTENT and not perfect. All this has resulted in the bonus of me losing 2 stone since February this year…yes…28lb and obviously I feel lighter…but it is the emotional ‘weight loss’ that feels amazing too. There has been no diet plan, but there has been a huge mindset shift which has changed my behaviours. My daily short Belief Coding sessions have helped with that too. I have been absolutely focusing on lots of small wins which keeps proving to me, the type of person I want to be. That is why this quote hit me in the face when I saw it.